My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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