Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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