Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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