Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
