im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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