and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize