yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
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how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
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Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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