found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian