some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.