I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?