Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.