Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
