You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
