And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
