I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
