She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
