we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
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we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
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I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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