He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
