I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
