You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
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We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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