For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
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