Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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