Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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