is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
