who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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