Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize