yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
True strength comes from lack of pants
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
