I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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