omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
