I got chris browned last night
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
