Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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