He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
