FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize