none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize