I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Randomize
