You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
