'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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