"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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