Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize