I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
