We're facebook friends in real life
so explain again why im purple
no
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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