Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Randomize
