My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
