I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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