Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
