Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
