i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
