wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
