i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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