I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
