I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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