I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
