So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize