she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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