i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
