At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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