Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Randomize
