yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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