I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
