First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
