ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize