Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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