Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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